A Stressful Thought

Posted by on Mar 11, 2015 in Communication, Conflict Theory | Comments Off on A Stressful Thought

While I was growing up, I dreaded to hear the words, “We are going to have company.” I think my whole family felt a knot in their stomachs as well. Starting several days before the event, my mother would get into the mood. She would turn into someone that Attila the Hun would be leery of challenging. Until the guests actually put a step inside the house, my mother was relentless in her pursuit to have everything in perfect order. It wasn’t until after their arrival that my mother would gradually return to her senses. Company stressed my mom to the point of falling apart. Stress is an...

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The Attack

Posted by on Jan 10, 2015 in Communication, Conflict Theory, Self-help | Comments Off on The Attack

The attack comes at us when we least expect it to happen. Another person comes at us fully armed with anger, a plethora of accusations, and a loaded arsenal of insults and offenses. Time stands still for a second as we try to reason it out. We usually know a snippet or two of the situation, but the full picture still eludes us. Our stomachs may hurt or our chests get tight as a wave of physical shock accompanies the confusion. This is a moment when there are two, opposing needs. The person who is attacking has been overwhelmed with a situation that has escaped the other. Whether real or...

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We Get Better at What We Practice

Posted by on Nov 1, 2014 in Communication, Conflict Theory, Self-help | Comments Off on We Get Better at What We Practice

There is one thing I know for sure. We get better at what we practice. I remember the first time I talked in front of a group. I was student teaching in a high school, and I finally had my first lesson to teach. I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I spilled out 50 minutes of lecture in less than ten minutes. Then I just froze. I remember Mrs. Larson, who was one of those strict teachers who scared everyone, dismissed the class. On their way out, students were patting me on the shoulder for encouragement, but I knew it was bad. Mrs. Larson brought over two chairs, and we sat right...

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The Secret of Wisdom

Posted by on Oct 8, 2014 in Communication, Conflict Theory, Self-help | Comments Off on The Secret of Wisdom

I have said many times that the world would be a better place for everyone if I could deal more effectively with the one person I come up against in every obstacle I ever face: me. That is a fact. If the longest journey a human travels is from the head to the heart, the shortest journey has to be from my head to my mouth. When I am hurt, tired, afraid, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, hungry, or any combination of those, I am more vulnerable to descend to the foulest level of myself. This is not a pretty place. In that state, I am as cruel to myself as I am to others. While there, I lack...

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Resolving Communication Problems

Posted by on Sep 8, 2014 in Communication, Conflict Theory, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Resolving Communication Problems

The bottom line of communication is about clarity – not agreement. There are two situations that we have all experienced. Here is the first one: Have you ever been in a conversation when all of a sudden it hits you that you do not have a clue what the other person is talking about? Usually, it ends up being a comical situation and everyone laughs as you both try to unravel the mystery of the conversation. And then there is the movie scene that has been played out in a variety of situations, but they all tend to be about saving someone. It is night, and, naturally, the lights are not...

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