Conflict Theory

Self-Mastery and Conflict

Posted by on Jun 22, 2015 in Communication, Conflict Theory, developing interpersonal, Managing Conflict, Self-Mastery | Comments Off on Self-Mastery and Conflict

“I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by any means possible, except getting off his back.” —Leo Tolstoy And what if we could make the “rider” more effective in the area of speech and drama so that he could better convince himself and others with sincere empathy that his intentions are good? I am not sure the man having to carry him would be any more relieved by it. And so it is with skills. They can be learned and even mimicked with such art that it looks, sounds and even feels...

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The Heroic Act of Escalation

Posted by on Jun 11, 2015 in Conflict Theory, Uncategorized | Comments Off on The Heroic Act of Escalation

Conflict in this sense can be compared to bacteria in the body. We all have bacteria in our body that could prove fatal if it reached a certain level. Our immune system plays the role of keeping the bacteria in check. Conflict also needs to reach a certain level before it can impact a system. When conflict is kept at a low level, it is easy not to deal with it because it isn’t potent or strong enough to get the attention of the system. Even if one person keeps acting out because of it, the conflict may stay hidden behind the actions of the person. Yet, we all know individuals who are...

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A Stressful Thought

Posted by on Mar 11, 2015 in Communication, Conflict Theory | Comments Off on A Stressful Thought

While I was growing up, I dreaded to hear the words, “We are going to have company.” I think my whole family felt a knot in their stomachs as well. Starting several days before the event, my mother would get into the mood. She would turn into someone that Attila the Hun would be leery of challenging. Until the guests actually put a step inside the house, my mother was relentless in her pursuit to have everything in perfect order. It wasn’t until after their arrival that my mother would gradually return to her senses. Company stressed my mom to the point of falling apart. Stress is an...

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The Attack

Posted by on Jan 10, 2015 in Communication, Conflict Theory, Self-help | Comments Off on The Attack

The attack comes at us when we least expect it to happen. Another person comes at us fully armed with anger, a plethora of accusations, and a loaded arsenal of insults and offenses. Time stands still for a second as we try to reason it out. We usually know a snippet or two of the situation, but the full picture still eludes us. Our stomachs may hurt or our chests get tight as a wave of physical shock accompanies the confusion. This is a moment when there are two, opposing needs. The person who is attacking has been overwhelmed with a situation that has escaped the other. Whether real or...

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We Get Better at What We Practice

Posted by on Nov 1, 2014 in Communication, Conflict Theory, Self-help | Comments Off on We Get Better at What We Practice

There is one thing I know for sure. We get better at what we practice. I remember the first time I talked in front of a group. I was student teaching in a high school, and I finally had my first lesson to teach. I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I spilled out 50 minutes of lecture in less than ten minutes. Then I just froze. I remember Mrs. Larson, who was one of those strict teachers who scared everyone, dismissed the class. On their way out, students were patting me on the shoulder for encouragement, but I knew it was bad. Mrs. Larson brought over two chairs, and we sat right...

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The Secret of Wisdom

Posted by on Oct 8, 2014 in Communication, Conflict Theory, Self-help | Comments Off on The Secret of Wisdom

I have said many times that the world would be a better place for everyone if I could deal more effectively with the one person I come up against in every obstacle I ever face: me. That is a fact. If the longest journey a human travels is from the head to the heart, the shortest journey has to be from my head to my mouth. When I am hurt, tired, afraid, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, hungry, or any combination of those, I am more vulnerable to descend to the foulest level of myself. This is not a pretty place. In that state, I am as cruel to myself as I am to others. While there, I lack...

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