Change always creates conflict; they cannot be separated

Posted by on Sep 1, 2015 in Conflict Theory, Managing Conflict, Perspective, Self-Mastery | Comments Off on Change always creates conflict; they cannot be separated

change graphicChange always creates conflict; they cannot be separated.

Change in our lives requires awareness, knowledge and skills. Although people, including families and corporations, try to push through it without addressing the changes taking place, the consequences eventually take its toll, which is rarely positive.

The first rule of change is to acknowledge it; we cannot alter or face anything that we are not aware of. Sometimes, we ignore what we cannot resolve. The prospect of the future is overwhelming, and we become paralyzed. Scarlett, in Gone with the Wind, simply said, “I will think about it tomorrow.” We saw how that ended.

The second rule is to become informed – the knowledge of the situation. This can take courage as fear of an adverse ending can spin us into interpreting information poorly. In other words, we lose perspective in the pursuit of perspective. Support to keep the change in perspective is sometimes critical in order to proceed. Also, this adage can help: “Remember, go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will always be able to see further.”

Finally, we need skills. Skills are the abilities to handle life. The ability to handle conflict, emotions, resistance, loss, or a myriad of situations is not inherent. We have to learn these skills. Sometimes, we have to learn through trial and error. Fortunately, there are people who have had to face similar situations, so their guidance and knowledge is a gift.

Here is a fact: most people do not like change. Yes, we are afraid of the unknown. What we do not want to recognize is that change takes place all the time, and we are pretty good at handling it. The problem may not be change – the real problem is that we cannot choose which change we have to face.